Chapter 9: Party up Front, Business in the Back
Dealing with Criticism
“It’s too ___________”
(Loud. Quiet. Dark. Bright. Distracting. Dull.)
“Why can’t we sing more hymns?”
“Why can’t we sing more choruses?”
“I really wish you would sing (this) song.”
I’ve kept a comment card that came across my desk a few years back. It fascinated me
because it had two very different perspectives from people sitting very close to each
other. One person said, “the music is too loud”, and the other, “the music is too quiet -
hard to hear.” These folks were sitting on the same row - two seats apart.
Everybody has an opinion. Some are more vocal about theirs than others. Our churches
are challenged by people with a deep seeded cultural sense of personal entitlement. We
want it our way, right away, or get out of my way.
There are also those who lift a voice out of genuine concern for the Kingdom - and many
times rightfully so. While maintaining a teachable spirit, it is our job as ministry leaders
to sort through valid critique, hold on to what it good and shrug off the rest.
An elderly gentleman used to stand in the middle section about 6 rows back in my
church (where I couldn’t possibly miss him) and would plug his ears with his fingers the
entire music set. Not in a “I’m trying to protect my hearing” sort of way, but in an
elbows-out declaration of “your racket is offensive to me and to God” accompanied by a
generous piercing glare. He hated my music. I know this because I asked him about it
once. So week after week I would smile and listen to the Holy Spirit and lead God’s
people in worship while attempting to overlook the huge human windmill in the room.
He didn’t like me, but it wasn’t personal. It was personalized, but it wasn’t personal. He
hardly knew me. From a place of grace and humility it was easy for me to see that he
simply didn’t agree with my ministry methodology - it hardly had anything to do with
the person of me, and it had everything to do with the circumstance.
A friend and mentor of mine, Curt Gentry, has this saying: “Lord, soften my heart as you
toughen my skin.” In public ministry, you will receive criticism. Ground yourself in
humility, know your context, take all things into consideration, hold on to what is good
and leave the rest.